Russian inner circle hit with “hard to swallow” sanctions

nxteL5xRussia has condemned “draconian” US and EU sanctions that have been imposed over Moscow’s actions in Ukraine.

The EU and the US today announced new sanctions directly targeting President Vladimir Putin and seven individuals within his “inner circle”.  Exports of European and American goodies to Russia will be ceased, meaning that the sweet-toothed group will no longer be able to enjoy favourites such as Reese’s Pieces, Rich Tea biscuits and Cadbury’s chocolate.

Farack O’Llama told reporters, “We have applied travel bans and asset freezes to no avail; we must now take a firmer approach. Yes, these sanctions are harsh, but we feel that such action is warranted in light of Russia’s very naughty behaviour.”

It remains to be seen how the sanctions will affect relations with Russia. There are some concerns that a quick drop in blood sugar levels will result in increased displays of aggression.

Rumour suggests that if this round of sanctions prove to be ineffective, the Western countries will consider putting Mr Putin on the naughty step.

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